Disappointment and Death

I do like to post a couple of times a week, but lately that seems impossible.  Last week was crazy, unexpected, and not according to our plans.  

In February, Josh told me that he had planned a surprise getaway for us the third week of March.  We were to leave on Monday, the 15th, and come home on Wednesday, the 17th.  Because of the nature of Josh's job, we have to take mini-trips during the week since we have to take vacation time to miss a Sunday.  As you can imagine, I was so excited!  We have never taken a surprise getaway (and we have only been away one other time for a marriage conference) and I couldn't wait.  My parents were going to keep the boys for us and of course they were thrilled as well. 

Sadly, our plans were canceled on Saturday night because a lady, who was a shut-in, in our church passed away Saturday night.  She had been moved to hospice at the end of the week and Josh had been to see her multiple times in the hospital, so we knew it would be soon.  In fact, we made the decision not to go before we found out she died.  We didn't want to be on the road and have to come home - that would have been even worse. 

We did wonder why the Lord allowed this to happen at this time, but we know that he is sovereign over all things and death is never convenient.  However, the Lord revealed to us fully on Monday morning why our trip was postponed.  We received a call around 9:30am that a very faithful man in our church had a massive heart attack and had died earlier that morning.  It was such a shock to us and to our entire church.  He was such a godly man and a death that sudden is hard to understand.  My last memory of Mr. Charles is of he and his wife coming forward last Sunday morning to pray for Josh.  Mr. Charles took his wife's hand and then took Josh's hand and knelt down and prayed for him.  He will be missed in our lives and at our church. 

Instead of going to Asheville and visiting the Biltmore (Josh told me about the getaway), my parents came to visit us, Josh wrote two funeral sermons, and then preached two funerals last Wednesday.  I haven't seen him that exhausted in a very long time. 

We are thankful the Lord's timing is best and we hope to take our getaway some other time, Lord willing.  I have been reminded through this experience that our plans really are in His hands.   As James 4:15 says, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."  Please pray for Mr. Charles' widow, Mrs. Nell.  She has lost both of her children (one 5 yrs ago and the other just 6 months ago) and now her husband.  My disappointment of a trip postponed is nothing compared to her grief and sorrow. 

Remembering

Today, I remember the life of an extraordinary woman. Two years ago today, my precious grandmother went home to be with the Lord. I still remember so vividly receiving the phone call from my dad around 9am that she had died a few minutes before. I'm so thankful that Josh was right there with me and just held me while I wept. My tears were not only for losing her, but also knowing that she would never meet my baby boy and her first great-grandchild. There are times I look at him playing or laughing and I wish with all my heart that she could have met him and held him.

A couple of weeks ago while visiting my parents, I went through cards and letters from high school and college that I didn't even know existed. I'm not one to keep anything (I hate clutter) and I was surprised to find an entire shoe box of old cards and letters. As I was reading through those notes, I realized that most of the cards and letters were from Grandy. When I was in college, she sent me letters frequently. I think she knew how much a college student wants mail from home, but more than that, she wanted me to know that she loved me and she was praying for me.

And that is what I miss about her most - her prayers. My Grandy was a woman of the Word and of prayer. She faithfully prayed for her family everyday. When she was close to death, I remember telling her how much I loved her and would miss her. She told me she loved me too and she also said that she would pray for me to end. My prayer now is that I would be as faithful as she was to know the Word and to pray for my family. She has given me such a wonderful example to follow.

As much as I miss her and remember her today, I know she is with her Jesus. She used to talk a lot about how much she wanted to go to heaven so that she would be free from physical aches and pains, but most of all to be free of sin. Praise the Lord for two years she has been free from sin's very presence! May we all long for that day!

"It Is Well with My Soul" was sung at her funeral and the last verse is especially meaningful as I think about her departing and one day my own.

And, Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll,
The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend,
"Even so," it is well with my soul.

*I wrote a tribute to my grandmother for girltalk for Mother's Day 2008. If you didn't read it then, you can find it here: http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog/A_Tribute_to_Margie_Powell_Lusk

Watch This

Many of you who read this blog probably also read GirlTalk. If you haven't read their post from yesterday and watched the video they recommend, I want to encourage you to. This post is a link to an extraordinary testimony of a lady named Rachel Barkey who is dying of cancer and probably won't live to see her 38th birthday. I watched her testimony this afternoon and was moved beyond words. She gives such a clear presentation of who we are and who God is while being very honest and open about her situation. Make sure and have some tissue handy because you will cry. I hope more than bringing you to tears, her testimony will increase your love for Jesus; it certainly did for me.

Remembering Papa

My dear grandfather, Papa, passed away on Saturday afternoon after a decade of cancer and recent heart and lung problems. His death was not a surprise to any of us, but death is still hard whether you are expecting it or not. My dad told me that he was very peaceful at the end and there was no struggling; he took two deep breaths and that was it. Thankfully, he is now with Jesus and reunited with my grandmother, which were the two things he wanted most.

What makes his death so hard for me is that with his passing, I no longer have grandparents. My grandmother died on August 14, 2007, exactly one week before Thomas was born, and my grandfather died on August 16, 2008. Their deaths leave a sadness in my soul because two people that have been around my whole life are no longer here. No longer can I call their house and talk to my Papa for five minutes about the weather, Josh, or Thomas and then he give the phone to Grandy and I talk an hour to her about everything - marriage, pregnancy, church, my relationship with God, etc. Oh, how I miss them!

Thankfully, I have sweet and precious memories of them and will one day be reunited with them. I wish more than anything that Thomas could have grown up to know them as I did, but the Lord's ways are better than mine. While I know that death is a part of life, I also know it is not the way it is supposed to be. We weren't created to die, but sin brought death into the world. So, death reminds me of the ugliness of sin, but also that Jesus has defeated sin and death! And I eagerly await when Jesus returns and there is no more sin and no more death!

"O death, where is your victory?

O death, where is your sting?"

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 15:55-57

Papa and Thomas (8 days old)