Learning About My Husband

One of the best sessions at the True Woman conference was the first breakout session with Bob Lepine.  He is the host of Family Life Today and the topic of his session was "What Your Husband Wishes You Knew About Being His Wife."  Sound interesting?  It really was great.  Bob Lepine used a lot of humor and his own observations and illustrations from his 30+ years of marriage.  These are the 10 observations he gave about men: 

1. Your husband needs you to be a helper.  He doesn't need you scolding, shaming, griping, insisting on your way, or nagging him. 
2. Your husband needs your perspective.  You need to do it with respect and humility. 
3. Your husband is insecure and not confident of his abilities in some areas.  Therefore, be kind!
4. If your husband isn't winning at what he is doing, he will quit and find something else.  This is especially true with marriage and family.  If you are constantly criticizing your husband, he will just give up.  You are your husband's cheerleader and your husband needs your affirmation. 
5. Your husband needs to know you aren't trying to use your relationship to manipulate him.
6. Your husband needs grace and love even when he makes mistakes and fails. Galatians 6:1 You need to always speak the truth in love and again affirm him even when he make mistakes. 
7. Your husband would rather be respected than loved.  Affirm him in what you respect about him.  And remember it is God's job to "fix" your husband; you aren't the Holy Spirit. 
8. Sex is one of the most powerful ways to affirm your husband.   1 Corinthians 7:3-4
9. Stop trying to control your husband!  1 Peter 3:6
10. Make it your goal to fulfill the "one anothers" in your marriage. 

I think the message will be online in the coming weeks and you can check out the True Woman website to find it.  I really was encouraged and challenged to be my husband's cheerleader.  The world doesn't affirm him, and even his role as a pastor can be very discouraging sometimes, so I need to affirm him and pray for him.  I've come to realize that Josh is very aware of his flaws, as I am of mine, and there is no need to point those out and be critical.  Even though this was a women's conference, it also helped me in loving my husband more! 

True Woman '10

I had the privilege of attending the True Woman conference in Chattanooga this past weekend.  It was the first of three conferences (2 others in Indianapolis and Ft Worth in the fall).  You may remember that I also went to the True Woman '08 conference in Chicago.  My initial thought when I heard about this conference was that I would not go this time, but after discussing it with some other ladies, we decided to go.  I'm so thankful that I did because it was so refreshing and challenging. 

Here are just some brief things the Lord taught me. 

1. Challenged to love and serve my husband.  This is something that I seek to do, but I was reminded once again why it is so important.  So often I become critical and instead of affirming him, I am negative and remind him of what he isn't doing.  We are both sinners and I need to give grace to him as I expect him to give grace to me.  On Saturday, there was a panel discussion and one of the speakers on the panel said, "Keep short accounts with your expectations.  Give your husband room to grow and give him grace."  Josh needs my affirmation, not my condemnation. 
2. Challenged to teach and pray for my children.  My time really is short with my children, even though sometimes the days are very long.  I was challenged to make the most of my time with my boys.  The Lord has given me such a wonderful opportunity to teach my children and I need to not be so distracted with the unnecessary things:  the internet, a spotless house, "me" time.  On Friday morning, Fern Nichols of Moms in Touch led us in a wonderful time of prayer for our children.  I do fervently pray for me children, but I was reminded to be in constant prayer for them and to model for them a life or unceasing prayer. 
3. Challenged to teach and model biblical womanhood in my church.  I have taught Bible studies to the women in my church, but I know that I need to do more.  Why?  Because I want the ladies in our church to embrace biblical womanhood and not what the world calls womanhood.  Unfortunately, our culture and our churches have been so influenced by feminism that we don't even realize that every area of our lives has been touched by feminism.  I want to live a counter-cultural womanhood and teach it as well so that women will live for the glory of God. 
4. Refreshed by the worship through singing.  If you have ever had the opportunity to be led in worship by Keith and Kristyn Getty then you know why I was refreshed!  Their passion for the Lord spills over into their worship and their songs bring you to closer fellowship with the Lord.  If you don't know who they are, check them out at http://www.gettymusic.com/ 

If you haven't heard of the True Woman movement, I would encourage you to also check out their website:  http://www.truewoman.com/.  Nancy Lee DeMoss of Revive Our Hearts is spearheading this movement and her passion is to see women living out biblical womanhood in every area of their lives.  If that is your desire as well, you can read and sign the True Woman Manifesto on the website. 

Also, if any of my readers live near Indianapolis, IN, or Ft. Worth, TX, make plans to attend!  I promise it will be worth your time and expense.

Book Giveaway!!

Would you like a copy of the book Shopping For Time: How To Do It All and NOT Be Overwhelmed? If you do, then you have a chance to win it here!

There were two extra books ordered for the bible study and no one used them, so I decided that I would give both away to my blog readers. Since there are probably only two of you who read this (and my father-in-law, but he won't be entering the contest!), you should have a great chance of winning it, if you want it!

Just leave a comment and let me know why you want the book. I'm going to use random.org (as long as I can figure out how, if not, I'll do the names in the hat method) to pick two winners next Monday, November 16th. Looking forward to reading your comments!

Needy

Last month, I taught a 4-week bible study on the book Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and NOT Be Overwhelmed. The book's authors are the girltalk bloggers and I enjoyed it so much! They offer five tips to help you use your time wisely:

1. Rise Early
2. Sit Still
3. Sit & Plan
4. Consider People
5. Plan to Depend

All of the chapters were helpful, but the second and fifth chapters were especially meaningful to me. Today, I'll focus on the second chapter and another post will cover the last chapter.

If you know me well, then you know that I don't like to sit still. I am always moving and doing. The moment my feet hit the floor, I'm ready to go. It amazes Josh that I can be up for 5 minutes and already washing the dishes or clothes, or vacuuming the floors. The first thing I normally think when I wake up is, "Oh, I need to do _____ today," and most of the time I want to do it right then, especially if it is a chore that I dislike.

However, from the time I was a teenager I learned the discipline of sitting still with the Lord in the mornings. I'm the type of person that cannot have private worship in the evenings because I'm too tired or I make too many excuses. It was much easier to get up earlier as a teenager (I had to go to school) or as an adult without children (I had to go to work), it is MUCH harder to get out of bed now that I have children. Why? Because sleep can so easily become an idol in my life. If it were up to me, I would go to bed by 9pm every night. Sometimes when we tuck Thomas into bed, I just want to snuggle up next to him and it is only 8pm! Yes, my children do sleep all night now, but it is still a struggle to get up most mornings.

What I am learning is that I desperately need to sit still with the Lord now more than ever. Why? Because I can't meet the needs of my family in my strength - I am weak and frail and utterly sinful - I need Jesus! And until I read this book, I never realized how prideful it is not to spend time with the Lord. This is how the authors explained it:

Conversely, choosing not to sit at Jesus' feet makes a statement. It says to the Lord, "I can do it without you. I don't need to read your Word or pray or listen to your voice. I am competent all by myself, thank you very much." These are frighteningly arrogant words we're saying, if not with our mouth then with our heart.

I am ashamed to say that my heart has often uttered those words. Oh, LORD forgive my prideful and conceited heart and give me grace to call out to my Savior!

What am I doing in light of reading this chapter? I am committing to rise early (their first tip) at 6am and to sit still at Jesus' feet because I am truly lost without him. Am I prone to fall away? Yes, as the hymn says, "Prone to wander Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love." Am I prone to legalism? Yes. Sometimes it is easy to think that I can "earn favor" from God or that he loves me more, but he doesn't.

Are you needy? Then join me in sitting still and communing with our Father in heaven. I promise your days will be more peaceful and you will actually look forward to rising early.

A Woman After God's Own Heart

The title for this blog is the title of the book we are studying in our women's bible study. Last night was the first meeting and it went great! There are 22 women signed up and last night we had 15 (some of them I knew where they were...the rest I have to track down). Also, our ages range from 81 to 25 - Titus 2 is taking place! Since the ladies didn't receive the book until Wednesday night or last night, we just had an intro and getting to know you time.

I began by giving a brief testimony of how I came to know the Lord and my passion for teaching women the Word. This has been my heart's longing for sometime now and I'm so thrilled that so many other women wanted to participate. I really didn't expect for the other women to give a brief testimony, but most of them did. It was wonderful to hear a room full of women testify to the Lord's goodness in the midst of their trials, as well as how the Lord had brought them to Himself.

We are planning on meeting for 12 weeks and reading two chapters a week. The agenda is to discuss the chapters and the Scripture for 45 mins and then to break into groups of two or three for accountability and to share personal prayer needs. My hope is that we will hold each other accountable for reading the Word daily, as well as spur one another on to godliness.

The women who were there last night have a hunger to learn more of the Word and to know God more. This book is all about pursuing God and I think it will give us encouragement to follow diligently after our Savior. I'll leave you with the best quote of the night by an older lady, "I just began studying God's Word a few months ago and I realized I was missing so much and now I want more of it." Praise The Lord and may it be true for all of us!

Encouragment for Stay-At-Home Moms!

I just came across this great article on FamilyLife MomBlog entitled "Five Reasons You Didn't Waste Your Degree." The world, and for many of us family and friends, believe that women who are educated are wasting their time staying at home. My extended family have made comments about my dad "wasting all that money" sending me to college. And I know for sure the women's college I attended would think they didn't teach me the feminist agenda well enough. If you are struggling with the role God has called you to or have in the past, I hope this article is an encouragment to you!

http://www.familylifemomblog.com/2009/01/five-reasons-yo.html

By the way, I would highly recommend this website. They have helpful articles for women from many different godly ladies.

True Woman Conference '08

This past weekend, 18 ladies from my church (including me) had the privilege of attending the True Woman conference in Chicago. We left to drive to Atlanta at 5am on Thursday morning where we flew to Chicago. The conference began that evening and all the traveling, lack of sleep and food, was completely worth it. Keith & Kristin Getty led in worship as 6,200 women lifted their voices to the Lord! Pastor John Piper and Nancy Lee DeMoss spoke on Thursday night and both had powerful messages about what biblical womanhood looks like. Piper especially gave us a vision for biblical womanhood in light of God's eternal plan for Jesus to redeem His church.

Friday was a full day as we heard from Mary Kassian, Fern Nichols, and Karen Loritts all before lunch! All the ladies encouraged and challenged me, but I was especially moved by Fern Nichols call for us to pray for our children. She read Revelation 5:8 and encouraged us to fill up bowls of prayers for our children. Then groups of two or three women gathered to pray for our children. I was moved to tears as I cried out to the Lord for Thomas' salvation. I do pray for him everyday, but I was convicted that I need to be more fervent in my prayers for him and remember that the Lord hears! What is more powerful than leaving a legacy of prayer for my child?

There were many breakout sessions after lunch and there is so much to say about those, that I'll have to blog about those later. After dinner, we had the privilege of hearing from Janet Parshall about the high calling of motherhood. Joni Eareckson Tada spoke to us via video about suffering and trials - such a powerful testimony from a woman who has faithfully endured while being in a wheelchair for over 40 years.

Finally, on Saturday we were encouraged by a panel of speakers to live out biblical womanhood in our marriages, homes, and churches. It was wonderful to hear from older ladies who have walked the path that I'm now walking. We had to leave early to catch our flight back so I was unable to hear Nancy Lee DeMoss's final message on Esther (Now Is The Time). However, I have downloaded it and plan to listen to it, as all the messages from the conference are available for free on www.truewoman.com.

The climax of the True Woman Conference was signing the True Woman manifesto. You can go to the above website and read it and sign it online. The goal of the True Woman Conference is to live counter-cultural lives as women and as we reject the world's standards and live by God's standards.

I'm sure many of you are wondering how did I do away from Thomas? It was hard, but manageable because I was so busy. I missed my family so much and holding my sweet boy! Thanks again to Josh's parents who graciously helped to care for my family while I was gone - they would have been hungry without y'all!

The only disappointment when I got home was that Thomas was sick. He had an upset stomach for about a week and on Saturday he had a fever and broke out in a rash! My husband deserves much credit because he had already given him Motrin and called the pediatrician before I got home. The ped thinks the rash is a result of a virus that had caused the upset stomach. It got worse yesterday, but after much prayer, more Motrin and some benadryl, he is all better today!

By the way, if you do sign the manifesto (ladies only of course), please let me know.