Fruitful?

There is a debate that wages in many Christian circles about Psalm 128:3: "Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table." Other verses included Genesis 1:28 and Psalm 127:3-5. Some think this mean that we have as many children as the Lord gives us (no family planning), while others believe the Lord commands us to have children, but leaves the number to our discretion.

This is a topic that I have prayed about and read a lot about it too. Recently, a friend and I began reading Mark Chanski's book Womanly Dominion: More Than A Gentle and Quiet Spirit and he comments on this verse:

Fruitfulness varies in its manifestation among different plants. A fruitful grape-vine will sport many, many clusters of grapes. On the other hand, a productive pumpkin vine may only generate four or five pumpkins. A farmer is very thankful if a single cornstalk produces two ears! Fruitfulness will vary from womb to womb, family to family. Revelation, providence, liberty and wisdom must be conscientiously blended. p. 32 (emphasis mine)

Let me be up front: Josh and I plan to have a big family, Lord willing. We do believe that children are a blessing from the Lord, but we also believe that family size is an area the Lord gives us wisdom to make decisions. I applaud the Duggars for raising 18 children (soon to be 19), but there is no way that Josh and I could afford to have that many children. They spend $3,000 a month on groceries alone. For many people, including us, we would spend our entire paycheck feeding that many children, and how would we clothe or provide a home?

There is the argument that God will provide for all our needs, and I believe that fully, but also believe that he gives us wisdom and discretion about family size. A family who has a disabled child has to spend much of their time and money to provide for that one child and may be physically or emotionally unable to care for more children. A family who is in ministry and dependent on the support of others has to decide how big of a family they can support.

Chanski's thoughts on procreation and fruitfulness were very helpful to me in explaining why it is okay for families to make a wise and prayerful decision about family size. Each plant is different in its fruitfulness and the Lord made us that way. Families come in all sizes and that is okay.

A caveat: I do believe that Scripture is clear that Christians are to have children unless they are physically unable. It is a sin to willingly remain childless because God commanded us to be fruitful and multiply. And our American culture views children as a hindrance instead of a blessing as anyone can clearly see in how available abortions are here.

There is much more that I can say about this issue, but I will stop for today. What are your thoughts on this topic? I'm sure some of you disagree and I would love to hear your feedback. Maybe what you say will give me a topic for another day.

Needy

Last month, I taught a 4-week bible study on the book Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and NOT Be Overwhelmed. The book's authors are the girltalk bloggers and I enjoyed it so much! They offer five tips to help you use your time wisely:

1. Rise Early
2. Sit Still
3. Sit & Plan
4. Consider People
5. Plan to Depend

All of the chapters were helpful, but the second and fifth chapters were especially meaningful to me. Today, I'll focus on the second chapter and another post will cover the last chapter.

If you know me well, then you know that I don't like to sit still. I am always moving and doing. The moment my feet hit the floor, I'm ready to go. It amazes Josh that I can be up for 5 minutes and already washing the dishes or clothes, or vacuuming the floors. The first thing I normally think when I wake up is, "Oh, I need to do _____ today," and most of the time I want to do it right then, especially if it is a chore that I dislike.

However, from the time I was a teenager I learned the discipline of sitting still with the Lord in the mornings. I'm the type of person that cannot have private worship in the evenings because I'm too tired or I make too many excuses. It was much easier to get up earlier as a teenager (I had to go to school) or as an adult without children (I had to go to work), it is MUCH harder to get out of bed now that I have children. Why? Because sleep can so easily become an idol in my life. If it were up to me, I would go to bed by 9pm every night. Sometimes when we tuck Thomas into bed, I just want to snuggle up next to him and it is only 8pm! Yes, my children do sleep all night now, but it is still a struggle to get up most mornings.

What I am learning is that I desperately need to sit still with the Lord now more than ever. Why? Because I can't meet the needs of my family in my strength - I am weak and frail and utterly sinful - I need Jesus! And until I read this book, I never realized how prideful it is not to spend time with the Lord. This is how the authors explained it:

Conversely, choosing not to sit at Jesus' feet makes a statement. It says to the Lord, "I can do it without you. I don't need to read your Word or pray or listen to your voice. I am competent all by myself, thank you very much." These are frighteningly arrogant words we're saying, if not with our mouth then with our heart.

I am ashamed to say that my heart has often uttered those words. Oh, LORD forgive my prideful and conceited heart and give me grace to call out to my Savior!

What am I doing in light of reading this chapter? I am committing to rise early (their first tip) at 6am and to sit still at Jesus' feet because I am truly lost without him. Am I prone to fall away? Yes, as the hymn says, "Prone to wander Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love." Am I prone to legalism? Yes. Sometimes it is easy to think that I can "earn favor" from God or that he loves me more, but he doesn't.

Are you needy? Then join me in sitting still and communing with our Father in heaven. I promise your days will be more peaceful and you will actually look forward to rising early.

Learn Bible Verses!

I am teaching a children's class on Sunday nights now and one of the goals is for the children to learn a verse every week. My goal is to learn the verses with them for I need to hide God's word in my heart just as much as they do!

Now, there is an even better way to learn more bible verses with music! The CD is called Fighter Verse Songs and I'm pretty sure the people who produced it are connected to John Piper's church, Bethlehem Baptist. We listen to music all the time and what could be better than listening to music that will help us hide God's word in our heart?!

The best part? You could win the CD! Go to this blog and check out the details! Even if I don't win, I'm going to buy it. Happy singing and memorizing!